LOSS OF A PARTNER AND WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?

LOSS OF A PARTNER AND WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?

Linda Nelson

Your world has just shattered. The life you had built together and the dreams you had for your future, feel like they are crumbling around you. That is the reality when you lose your partner. Like many things in life it is hard to explain to the full extent unless you have lived it.

The days that follow are usually full of love and support. Family and friends rally around you. You appreciate that they care but your current level of numbness means that condolences and support basically falls on deaf ears as you start to go through the rainbow of emotions.

Life moves forward, support is only a phone call away but loved ones go back to their daily lives. You keep yourself busy during the day, children, work, anything to distract your mind. And then comes the night. What was once your safe-haven is now an empty bed that reminds you of exactly what you have lost and you wonder if you will ever feel whole again.

Although it sounds like a cliché, time is an amazing thing. You don’t forget but you learn to slowly find yourself again. Catching yourself in that first genuine laugh can be a mixture of relief and guilt but it is a step in the right direction. Eventually you reconcile your new reality in your mind and begin to carve out a new path as an I instead of a we.

What happens next?

You noticed an attractive person while you were in your relationship and you will again. At first you will probably feel more guilt over checking someone out than when your partner was still with you and that’s perfectly natural. Moving forward after such a loss is a process.

When is it appropriate for me to date again?

In a nutshell, whenever you feel comfortable! There can be a damaging stigma attached to finding love after the death of a partner. Everyone seems to have an opinion on your love life afterwards. Some will tell you that you need to wait some arbitrary amount of time, while others will think they are being helpful by trying to push you back into the singles scene before you are ready. The rest you will feel are silently judging you from afar.

Dating itself can be very daunting. Let’s face it, you thought you had found the love of your life and you were done with dating. Not to mention that you have to try and not constantly compare anyone new and you may have children to consider. You could find someone wonderful quicker than you thought you would or it could feel like one disaster of a date after another. You are on a big enough emotional rollercoaster without trying to carry anyone else’s baggage, period.

When you meet a special someone, try to give the relationship a chance to flourish. It doesn’t matter if it’s 6 months or 6 years after the loss of your partner, always remember that you aren’t betraying anyone. Your partner loved you and would want nothing but all the happiness the world had to offer. A great love to share the rest of your life with.

Your heart is big enough for two!

Devotion (Erotica Short Story by Linda Nelson)

DEVOTION

By Linda Nelson

So… Nervous… It wasn’t like me to be so damn nervous! I had been staring at myself in the mirror for at least thirty minutes but I just couldn’t get my feet to move forward. Sweat was starting to glisten on my forehead and while my normally unkempt chocolate hair was styled to look a bit more formal, I could see the normal, side-swept fringe starting to break free and form. In my eyes I could see the nerves, which meant that they would be able to see my nerves as well, without a doubt.

Standing in a standard black tuxedo with a baby blue tie around my neck, I was supposed to be going to stand at the end of the aisle and wait for the love of my life to walk down to me so that we could say our vows. I had been in the bathroom, away from the eyes of everyone else, to make sure that I was prepared and that everything looked right for the pictures that would be snapped afterwards. I wanted them to be perfect for my partner. I was having an outside wedding, complete with beautiful dogwood trees for shade and trickling stream with a wooden bridge where our vows would be said. A picturesque countryside wonderland, or at least that’s what I was told the wedding theme was.

Normally, I was the cheerful, upbeat type of guy and if anyone needed to be calmed, it would have been my partner, but when I saw myself in the mirror, it hit me how much this day really meant to me. When we first started our relationship all those years ago, it seemed like everything in the world was against us and we had even accepted the fact that we would probably never be able to get married. Then laws started changing and progress was made. Still, the state that we resided in remained adamant in their conservative ways, but we were for the most part okay with that. We told ourselves that it was just a piece of paper and moved on with our life together. Then the Supreme Court ruled in favour of us and it took me no time at all to get the question out, I was ecstatic. But all of this didn’t even delve into the other obstacles that were in our relationship in the beginning. It seemed insignificant now though, today was finally the day. I just needed to get myself out the door.

“Louis… Sweetie?” my mum’s voice rang into the room and I stiffened even further. That meant that they were probably looking for me now.

“Yes?” I spoke slowly, my eyes on the door as it opened and my mother walked in. She and I were very close but today the pure happiness in her eyes was something that I hadn’t seen in a while. She wore a simple blue dress with pearl accents and heels. Her dark hair sat in a bun on top of her head. While the happiness was still in her eyes, there was worry in her brows.

“Everything okay in here?” she asked as she walked up to me and instantly adjusted my tie and then brushed my hair that was starting fall back a bit. “You look nervous.”

“Ah… It’s just… This day means more to me than probably any day of my life,” I responded with a nervous laugh, rubbing the back of my head only to have my mum swat at my arm to keep me from messing my hair up even further. “And I guess I had a sudden realisation of that when I saw myself in the mirror.”

“It does mean a lot. It means a lot to everyone here.” she smiled, still fixing every little thing that was wrong with my suit, even going as far as to try to smooth the wrinkles that were forming around my collar. “There’s no reason to be nervous. This is supposed to be a joyous occasion and if you’re all nervous, it’s going to make them nervous, too.”

“Yeah, I know,” I chuckled. I felt like I was child being lectured all over again. Even though I was in my twenties and hadn’t lived with mum since I was eighteen, when I began to work as a freelance digital artist and had enough money to go my own way. I still worked as an artist, slaving over a tablet or canvas for hours a day, but I loved my job and it was how I had met my partner as well.

It got me to thinking about how we really met. A gaming company for a RPG mobile app hired us both. While neither of us were too big into gaming ourselves, the pay was good so we both jumped on board. Harry was in charge of creating well-written dialogue, whilst I drew portraits of the characters. We had to liaise with each other so that my character art and his dialogue had continuity. After that, the seeds of friendship blossomed and we continued talking online. He lived across the country from me, so we couldn’t see each other, but even with that and the fact that I hadn’t been in a same sex relationship before, we still ended up falling for each other.

Eventually we took turns flying out to visit each other, with the visits becoming longer and more frequent, until one day I picked Harry up at the airport and he had all of his belongings, declaring that he wanted to live with me and give our relationship a real shot, he never left after that.

“LOUIS!” My mum’s voice ended my little daydream and my eyes focused on her, she was no longer happy with me at all. “You need to stop standing there. If you’ve got time to daydream, then you’ve got time to get out on that bridge and wait for your future hubby!”

“R-right!” I said. Not like I had any choice, she had gotten behind me and was now pushing me forcibly out of the bathroom.

As soon as we were in the public eye, she calmed down and put a smile on her face and I did the same. I couldn’t look at everyone in the chairs; I was too racked with nerves so I walked with my head down until I was on the bridge where the Pastor was standing with a serene smile on his face. It hadn’t been our idea to have a really traditional wedding but somehow our mothers had schemed together and both agreed that if their baby boys were marrying other men they would get a say in how the wedding was set up. In fact, neither of us even knew where our wedding location was until about a two weeks ago. We hadn’t even seen our own wedding invitations, either. It had all been left in the hands of our wedding fevered mums.

Everything was silent for what seemed like an eternity before typical ‘Here Comes the Bride’ style music started playing and in that moment, I was half-expecting Harry to come down the aisle in a bridal gown. I would love him no matter what he chose to wear on any given day, but the thought of seeing him in a flowing white gown and veil made me want to snicker like an immature child. I wondered if anyone saw the smirk that was on my face. I would probably get grilled about it, later.

Luckily, he was not in a gown, but instead, a tuxedo very similar to my own, apart from the vintage boutonniere that was pinned to it and the baby blue pocket square to match my tie that he had borrowed from his sister for the wedding. How did it go? ‘Something new, something old, something borrowed, something blue?’ Anyway, his mum had made sure that he had all of those things before the wedding, or so I was told. I didn’t see the first two things, but maybe the suit counted as something new and his shirt counted as something old. Oh, well. Didn’t matter. He looked amazing.

His wavy mess of light brown curls had been smoothed back from his face, but they were still messy in that hot kind of way and those emerald green eyes that always made my heart beat a little faster were sparkling. Even though I was the older of us, only by two years, he was a couple of inches taller than me and often got mistaken for the older one. He had a warm smile on his face, the cute little split in his lips that I was used to seeing after years and his father was beside him, something that wouldn’t have been possible in the early stages of our relationship.

The distinguished man with graying brown hair was dressed in a tweed three-piece suit and while his eyes were on the ground, I could swear that I saw a genuine smile on his face. Edward had been one of the main oppositions to the relationship, though both of his parents were more opposing than mine in general. Edward had sworn that he wouldn’t call Harry his son if he chose to stay with me. I remember how distraught he was over his family’s objections and how in that moment I realised just how much Harry loved me. To choose me even at the cost of losing his own family as a result was no small choice to make. For the next two years they didn’t speak. One day out of the blue Edward apologized for not being supportive and he was over his initial objections it seemed. He was now giving Harry a final hug and to my surprise, me as well.

I now had my beautiful man beside me in front of the Pastor; it was time to make things official.

“We are here today to celebrate the eternal bonding of Harold and Louis in holy matrimony,” he started in a stern, flat voice. The music slowed to a stop as he said that first line and after a lovely poem mum had chosen, he went straight into the vows, turning to me first. “Do you, Louis Daniel Tyler, take Harold Edward Leines to be your husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do you part?”

“I do,” I said, glancing at the Pastor and then back to Harry, my jaw parting slightly when I noticed the tears in his eyes. This really did mean a lot to him. I mean, it meant a lot to me, but I was usually not quite as open with my emotions in public, other than the playful ones.

“And do you, Harold Edward Leines, take Louis Daniel Tyler to be your husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do you part?”

“I do… With all of my heart, I do…” he answered, tears now streaming down his cheeks.

His tears were contagious and before I knew it, my eyes were glossy and damp as well. I barely even heard the Pastor say, “You may now kiss,” when Harry bent down and grabbed my face tenderly in his hands and kissed me. It was a kiss that spoke to my very core, the need for him seemed just as essential as the air I breathed. In the back of my mind I heard the crowd bursting into applause but I was lost in the kiss. His hands were warm and I wasn’t sure if it was my heartbeat or his that I could feel in my palms. His lips trembled as he kissed me again and again, and when I cracked my eyes open, I could see that tears were free flowing from his eyes now. Tears ran down my cheek at the sight of it.

We parted and our mum’s ran up to us in hurry. “You look perfect!” Mum noted, clapping her hands on either side of my cheek and staring into my eyes. “I’m so happy!” She pulled me into a tight hug, which reminded me that of all of our family, mum had been the most accepting of our relationship, even though I didn’t even tell her until Harry was already living with me.

“Oh darling, don’t cry!” Harry’s mum, Angela, said, pulling Harry into a death grip as well.

“I’m trying not to,” Harry sobbed, sniffling loudly. “I just never thought I’d get to have a beautiful wedding like this.”

“Speaking of which, this place is fantastic!” I commented, looking around. A gentle breeze was blowing and the white petals from the dogwoods were dancing in the wind. Apart from where the ceremony was set up and the gazebo for the catering, there was a wide-open field in front of us too, with lush, green spring grass. I was certain that our wedding pictures would be even prettier than some of the illustrations I could draw.

“Isn’t it, though?” Mum said proudly, stepping back. “Angela and I put countless hours into finding something like this!”

“We did,” Angela beamed, proudly nodding.

I laughed while Harry just smiled, stepping close to me and leaning his head against mine. “It’s really gorgeous,” he said, sniffling again.

Music started playing and it caught my attention. I began to look around and then I turned to mum. “Why are we playing music again?”

“It’s time to dance,” she said with a wink. “I’m going to go find your father. He’s probably already getting into the food or the bourbon.”

I watched her as she disappeared off into the crowd and took a moment to savour the atmosphere. Just seeing everyone here to share in our special day made me realise that we had a lot of friends. There were even some people whom I had only met over the Internet before today. Our parents must have put in a lot of effort to get in touch with all of our contacts.
I looked around to see that Angela was gone as well and I turned to Harry. “So… My wonderfully adorable and sexy hubby, care to slow dance with me?” I urged, holding out my hands for him to take.

“I’d love to slow dance with you, my dearest husband,” he announced whilst putting an emphasis on the word husband. Tears formed in his eyes again and I tilted my head.

“Geez love, what’s with all the waterworks? Everyone will think this is a shotgun marriage and start looking for the baby bump,” I teased.

He smiled at me and wiped away some of his tears. “I can’t help it. I’m so happy that I can barely breathe.”

“Well, I’ll let you in on a little secret, I’m that happy too.” I said, tapping his nose with mine. He tilted his head when I did, kissing me softly. I pulled back and then pulled him close and began to sway and step to and fro with him. “I love you,” I said in the most honest tone I could muster. I wasn’t bawling my eyes out with joy, but I was happier than I had ever been. Less than thirty minutes ago, I had married the most incredible human being that I had ever known, and tonight, we would return home to our apartment and snuggle up in bed as newlyweds. We still had so much to look forward to. Not only our dream honeymoon to Europe starting in a week but a lifetime of memories to start creating together.

“I love you, too,” he whispered, smiling through his tears and pressing his forehead into mine. “I really, really, really love you….”

“What do you think of how traditional our mums decided to go with it?” I inquired. Neither of us were highly religious one way or another; so all the traditional vows weren’t quite what we were about. We weren’t a traditional couple either but I guess what is traditional in this day and age. I couldn’t deny that there was something exciting about hearing the traditional wedding music and agreeing to vows. It seemed right. It was something I never felt I needed until it was happening and then I realised just how much it meant to me, to us.

“I like it. I really think it just feels more impactful to be so traditional… And I really love how we’re outside, especially since the day turned out to be so glorious.”

“Me, too,” just as I said that, the wind got just a bit stronger and that was the end of my hair being styled back, my fringe fell against the side of my forehead as it always did. Harry would always tease me that I was a pretty-boy complete with boy-band hair, he must have seen this as he giggled at me in that adorable way that only he can.

We fell into a comfortable silence as we danced, our bodies only inches apart, our foreheads pressed together. Harry was my husband now, my beautiful, sexy, sweetheart of a husband.

It wasn’t long before we started dancing with other people, as old friends from high school and longtime friends from our works came to ask for dances. I figured this would be the case since the wedding was quite traditional. We didn’t see each other for an hour, when mum’s voice came over a megaphone of all things. I had to laugh that mum hadn’t gone with a microphone at least like most people would have. I adore my mum but that woman could talk underwater, no one in their right mind should ever let her loose with a megaphone, we’ll never get it back.

“It’s time to cut the cake before hungry eyes get the better of people!” she announced. “Would the grooms come and do the honour?”

I realised that with all the pleasantries I had forgotten all about the food that we had. I made my way over to the large gazebo and my eyes landed on the three-tiered white cake that was accented with powder blue and had two groom figures on the top of it, holding hands. I approached it and was met by Harry, who had the knife.

“Looks delicious, almost good enough for you to wear,” I teased. “If we’re going to keep on the traditional route, hmmm?”

“Sure does and don’t even think about it sunshine,” he retorted with a smile.

I held his hand as he cut the cake and the crowd of guests cheered once more. Our mums hovered to make sure all the guests were served a piece and were given glasses of champagne for the inevitable toasts which were full of emotion and a few embarrassing childhood stories as well. The guests seemed to be enjoying the occasion, dancing, drinking and conversing. The children that were present at the ceremony chowed through their food and began to play tag, as children tend to do when given a wide-open space to run a muck.

After talking and goofing off with guests, some of which I had to think of whether or not I even knew, I realised how much I wanted to just run out and play with the kids. I was thankful that everyone was congratulating me, but after the standing “Congrats on your husband” part, it was the same questions about what I was doing in my life and how my drawings were coming along. Answering them over and over again was monotonous.

Once I hit my thirtieth guest, yes I was counting. I decided to live out my whims; it was my wedding after all. My suit was expensive but I didn’t care. I sprinted out – with a little regret, since dress shoes weren’t comfortable to run into the field – and be the big kid that I was. It was really fun actually and a good break from answering all the questions. I played with them until I noticed people gathering up to depart. I wasn’t sure how long the reception had been going on, but I did notice that the sun was already starting to set. I headed back to the gazebo to be greeted by Harry, who dusted some grass and pollen off of my tux before smirking, “Did you enjoy yourself love?”

“Yeah. I got tired of being an adult so I went to be with the kids,” I laughed, rubbing the back of my head. My hair was already extremely messed up anyway.

He chuckled at me and kissed me on the cheek. “I like your hair messy. I think everyone is waiting for us to do our big goodbye. I offered to clean up but Mum said that we just needed to enjoy ourselves and go home if we want. So are you ready to head home?”

“Sure. Does that mean what I think it does?” I asked, waggling my brows at him. I was mostly joking.

He gleamed and pulled me close. “It does, the things I’m going to do to my husband, you just wait,” he whispered, surprising me. I was usually the ‘initiator’ when it came to our sexual encounters. It was rare that he spoke much of it unless we were actually in the bedroom.

“Okay,” I muttered, a little lost for words, as I followed him to our car. Mum had wanted to get us a limo for the ride home but since I wasn’t a big drinker anyway I was happier to have the drive in before the ceremony to myself. Our Jeep Wrangler had been painted, which unlike my husband’s words, did not surprise me. ‘Just Married’ was written in white paint on the back windshield and both of the back windows had hearts painted on them. There were some cans tied to our bumper as well. I climbed into the driver’s seat, not even bothering to make a comment on the state of our car as Harry got into the passenger seat.

As we drove off I could still hear the music mixed with the sound of the trickling stream as we left. At first, the silence was fine with me, but then I realised that Harry hadn’t even been playing with the radio like he normally did so I glanced over at him. “Are you okay?” I snuck a quick look to see that he was looking down at his wedding band.

“I’m fine,” he answered. “Just really, really happy… It feels so surreal…”

“I know,” I said, reaching over and giving his hand a squeeze.

“When I was younger, I was made fun of a lot when people at school noticed the way I looked at cute boys and I always thought that I would probably have little secret relationships and never be able to be open about my love, but then all of this happened… And it’s just too much. I’m too happy.”

“Nah… There’s no such thing as too happy,” I grinned. I felt as happy as he did, but I wasn’t going to let my emotions run rampant like he was. “You should say something fancy, like you’re elated or ecstatic or simply thrilled to the bone… Not just too happy.”

He laughed at me. “You’re right. This marvelous occasion has tickled my fancy to the very core of my bones,” he mocked in a stereotypically aristocrat accent.

We fell back into silence again after that, both of us becoming engrossed in our own thoughts, but this time Harry fiddled with the radio, dissipating my concerns. We finally made it home and when entering the studio apartment that we shared, I decided to lighten the mood by carrying him over the threshold.

It wasn’t the cleanest of quaint living spaces, but there were worse. In one corner across from the bed and near the door to the bathroom, there was a pile of laundry. The bed had been made and had the ‘good’ linen on it. In the corner to the left of the door was our lounge room area and two desks that fit snuggly into the corner that were our workspaces. Overall, the apartment had a modern appeal to it. There was a lot of space on the floor, but the walls were decked out in posters and pieces of art. I have lived in the same apartment since I was eighteen, but hopefully within the next few years, Harry and I would be moving into a house and starting a family of our own consisting of fur babies, children, or both. Our mums were already getting the granny lust bug and wanted some grandchildren to spoil sooner rather than later.

Just as I was closing the door, Harry pushed me against it and pressed his lips to mine. He tugged at my tie until it came loose and then unbuttoned my shirt swiftly, brushing it off of my shoulders and leaving my chest bare to his lascivious stare.

“H-hey!” I stammered out. I was not used to this at all. Not that I minded it. Harry was a passionate man, but that was usually after I initiated things or every once in a while when a wine or two too many made him a little reckless.

“I’m yours and you’re mine now, right Louey?” he purred as he slid his shirt of his shoulders, waiting for my response.

“Of course, you know that,” I sputtered, gawking at him. I had seen Harry’s chest hundreds of times by this point, but the effect on me was always the same. I loved the way his body looked and even more so, the way it felt against mine.

“Well just go along with it then. It’s my turn to see if I can make you moan” he smirked whilst tilting my chin up and kissing me eagerly. His hand pressing against my fast growing firmness through my suit pants.

“Whoa, I’ll go along with anything as long as you keep touching me like this,” I panted as he broke off our kiss and began nibbling across my collar bone. My pelvis, instinctively arching forward, pressing my erection firmer against his warm hands, aching for the friction I longed for. His hands reached to my waist, swiftly undoing my trousers as he launched into stroking my cock rhythmically. In an instant, I went from a rather playful mood to one completely stricken by need.

I arched into him and let out a light moan. I wasn’t used to being taken unawares like this and whether it was an extension of the mood of the day or just how incredibly hot Harry taking charge was, I could feel myself building surprisingly quickly. My fingers digging into Harry’s biceps as my entire body began to throb with euphoria, on the brink of finding it’s sweet release. “H-Harry…” I breathed out, sweat beginning to glisten across my face and chest. He broke away just before my tipping point and stood back as a slow smile spread across his face.

“You didn’t think we were going to be done that quickly, did you baby? My new husband is a very breathtaking man and I plan on showing you just how much I want you,” Harry croons in a seductive tone that sends shivers straight down my shaft whilst leading me over to our bed.

“This is a new side of you, what did you do with innocent Harry,” I remark, looking up at him with the most virtuous look I can muster.

“You’re mine now and I want to do deliciously naughty things to you.” He smiles at me and even though I can still see the sweet person that Harry normally is, I can also see mischief building in his eyes.

“I think I might really like this side of you. My husband the seducer,” I tease as my lips part into a smirk. I didn’t mind the thought of being bottom for the night, especially the night of our wedding. It would not only be my first time with him since we were married, but it had been a while since Harry had taken the lead.

He chuckled and leant over me, propping my legs up on his shoulders as I had with him so many times in the past. “It’s been a while since you’ve been on this end baby so we’re going to take nice and slow to begin with. I’m plan on making you feel so good,” he breathed. His face leaning closer to mine so I can see the passion that is burning in those gemstone like eyes. I love it! I watch through cloudy eyes as he prepares me with the lubricant, encircling and slipping in his thumb. The lube is cold compared to the rest of my skin and I tremble from the temperature as much as from my body wanting to find it’s release.

“Are you okay,” Harry questions, gaging whether my body’s response is from pleasure or pain.

“I’m fine babe, don’t stop. I need you now” I gasp.

In one slow motion, I feel myself opening to him and the elation in the burst of both pain and pleasure. I wince and arch my back at the same time. My hands balled into tight fists, grabbing at the soft sheets, I can hear threads popping from underneath them. I pant ferociously as my heart races from the sudden feeling of fullness.

“Are you sure your okay?” he breathes. I notice that his face is red and already sweating with enjoyment. It isn’t the side he was usually on either.

“Y-yeah,” I groan. “Faster baby,” I add. I lock eyes with him as he begins to pick up the pace and thrust into me, watching as his brows furrow the way they do when he is enjoying himself. With every single movement, I feel another wave of pleasure and pain, though the pain is dissipating with each thrust.

“You feel amazing…” Harry mumbles as his body begins to tense up and his moves hasten. He steadies himself with his hands on the bed and by the tugging of the blanket under me; I can only guess that he now had locked his hands into fists as well.

“Not as great as you, just a little longer… I’m almost there.” Normally, I would tease him a bit when we’re in the bedroom, but all of the traction and passion I’m feeling clouds my thoughts and leaves my mind blank of anything but sensation.

Harry’s movements become shaky and a primal groan stirs from within him. I can feel his stomach muscles tighten against my erection and that is enough to drive me over the edge. I lean my head back and let pleasure take me over, no longer paying attention to anything around me as I throb, pulse and release myself at the same time as my husband.

Just like that, the storm of emotions is over and I lean my head back down to see Harry step back, sweat dripping down his forehead. “I don’t see how anyone could be as in awe of someone as I am of you right now. I truly love you,” I babble sincerely.

“Except for me, of you gorgeous boy. I love you too. More than you’ll ever know,” he beams, leaning back over me to kiss me tenderly. “As much as I love you though I think that maybe we should wash ourselves off, don’t you?”

“Yeah, you look like I just put you through the ringer” I chuckle momentarily as when I stand; I realise that at least part of me had been put through the ringer too. I let out a small, involuntary whimper of distress.

Harry turns around and smirks at me, letting me know that he realises exactly what’s going on. My gallant husband scoops me up and carries me to the bathtub to enjoy the soothing water and our warm embrace.

“I can’t wait to begin the rest of my life with you” Harry smiles whilst picking my hand up out of the water and playing with my new ring, the symbol of all we feel for each other.

“I’ll second that,” I agree, wrapping his arms back around me.

I was exactly where I wanted to be, in the arms of my new husband and our new life together.

Devotion is an Excerpt from the book title Bedgasm by erotic fiction author Linda Nelson.

Bedgasm is subject to copyright. Taboo Intimacy has permission to publish Devotion on this blog and use on their social media. All rights remain with the author.

Bedgasm is an erotic buffet of fifteen short stories to help you sink into the sheets and bask in the afterglow. Whether you enjoy the thrill of a dalliance at a masquerade gala, romantic essence and seduction, the anticipation of submission or the intrigue of a paranormal tryst, Bedgasm provides this and much more to feed your deepest intimate desires, leave your mind reeling and your toes curling. Available at Amazon, Smashwords, ibooks, Barnes and Noble and selected outlets:

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Svakom is known for good quality vibrators with interesting features throughout their range. These include heating, a touch sensor and boasting the worlds longest usage time before having to recharge but the Siime Eye has been one of the most anticipated products and was guaranteed to get tongues wagging.

The Siime Eye is a wireless internal-camera vibrator, yes you read that right. This product uses a WIFI enabled internal-camera. Pictures and video are transmitted wirelessly to a computer, smart phone or a tablet through WIFI broadcasted from the product itself. It has 4 small LED lights that surround the rim of the built-in camera lens at the tip. The massager can be connected by installing an app on your computer or mobile phone, it can display what the camera is seeing and allows you the option of saving pictures or video on to your computer or mobile phone. The maximum wireless distance is up to 30 Meters and can connect to more than one mobile phone or computer simultaneously. It has 6 vibration modes and is 100% waterproof.

Now unless it’s a fetish of yours, most peoples knee jerk reaction is why would you ever want that or to joke about it being a selfie stick for your lady parts. Granted that was my first reaction too! However if you take away its use in the extreme it could have its place in a wider range of couples relationships.

Like all other elements of our life that have changed due to technology so has flirting and intimacy with our partner. Mobile phones brought about sexting and evolved to risqué images being sent. Phone sex has also been amped up to a more visual experience with apps such as Skype and Face Time. The Siime Eye could be on its way to being another avenue for partners to put on a show when they can’t be together or want a different kind of foreplay. Being a hand held camera it is easier to maneuver and the vibration can be used on areas other than internally while the camera is switched on. For the areas that you may not want seen all you have to do is switch off the app and the camera function will cease.

Now whether you think this is the best thing since sliced bread, all kinds of wrong or just plain weird, you certainly won’t forget this product anytime soon.

Simple Tips For Keeping it Steamy


Maintaining a healthy relationship doesn’t just happen. Like all good things worth having, it requires some effort from both parties involved. After time your relationship can loose it’s new toy shine and you can become almost too comfortable with each other.

Remember those first few dates, hours spent primping, preening and rehearsing how it was all going to play out in your head. As a relationship evolves it shouldn’t be that time intensive, but still some effort can go a long way.

Here are some simple tips for keeping it steamy that require minimum effort for maximum result.

Kiss Like You Mean It
Don’t just go through the motions. If it’s a little kiss, hold their face and let it linger. If it’s a big kiss go all in! I’m talking about hands sliding up their neck and twisting in their hair.

Clean The House In An Outfit
Whether it’s a little maids outfit, lingerie or briefs, make sure all that bending and dusting comes with a great view. Pretty soon you will be the one that needs cleaning.

Change In Front Of Each Other
It’s ok they have seen it before. Even if you’re worried that the landscape may have changed over the years, if they’re still with you, they still want to see it! The likelihood is that the things you are self-conscious about, they won’t even notice.

Sleep In The Nude
Want to increase your chances of getting some? Sleep naked. Let’s face it even if it’s been a long day, if you’re naked, you’re more likely to spark interest and get the party started.

Nail Care
It may seem insignificant but ladies a coat of nail polish or a manicure will be noticed in the overall way you carry yourself. Gentlemen clean nails for you are just as important, especially if you work in a grimy environment. No one wants grease and dirt in sensitive areas!

Dress to Impress
Now it may not be practical to be dressed to the nines everyday depending on your job and lifestyle but don’t just sit around the house in your ‘comfy clothes’ all the time either. Wearing something nice for your partner for no reason will remind them just how lucky they are to have such a sexy partner.

Don’t Hover
Don’t suffocate your partner by hovering around them all the time when you in their presence. Spend quality time with them by all means but go about your business. A person with their own interests and confidence is much more desirable.

Close The Bathroom Door
I know some people think that peeing in front of one another is form of intimacy and trust in itself but I’m going to call bulls**t and point out that unless it’s a fetish of yours it holds no sex appeal at all. It’s ok to keep a little mystery in that area, close the bathroom door!

Grande gestures are lovely and there is no reason why they can’t be part of your relationship as well. Keep in mind that it is the little things in your day to day relationship that will add up to make the most impact and keep your relationship sparkling.

8 IDEAS TO ESTABLISH A STRONG INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP

For many of us establishing a strong and healthy relationship isn’t as easy as you think it would be. I know that ever since I started dating in my teens and even through my twenties I had a picture perfect idea of who my prince charming would be and the happily ever after that would ‘just happen’ once we had our fairy tale wedding. Even my relationships that were far from perfect were always going to work out in my head until they didn’t. After all what is a romantic comedy without a little drama, before true love blossoms just before the end credits.

For many of us it takes years or even a lifetime to realise a relationship is not a romance movie!

Through years of conditioning from things such as romance movies and grand gestures of love going viral on social media many of us believe that if our relationship doesn’t match up, we are missing out or aren’t really loved.

What you don’t get to see is what would happen the rest of the time. For that one perfect grand gesture there is likely many regular days of things like zoning out on the couch together or grocery shopping that go with it.

The fairy tale fantasy we build up in our mind is really a substitute for intimacy. Real, connected, vulnerable intimacy.

True happiness is unique for every relationship. Just remember that your partner is human just like you. No matter how amazing they are, they will have issues and faults just like everyone else.

So then, how do we make our relationship work, stay healthy and fulfilling?

We begin by looking at what true love really is. We then need to redefine and update the romantic fairytale we imagined into a healthier type of love.

Here are some ideas to help you create intimacy and healthy relationship.

1 – Be Complete Within Yourself First

Relationships aren’t a merging of souls. Although the ideal of two souls becoming one is a lovely sentiment, healthy relationships are two complete people that choose to share their life together interdependently. You can’t rely on your partner to complete you, only that you feel like a better person by having them in your life and cheering in your corner. If you don’t have a good relationship with yourself first, you won’t be able to achieve a deep level of intimacy with your partner.

2 – Be Realistic About Your Partner

It is human nature to want to be loved and be ‘in love’. We search long and hard for that person we believe was made just for us or can give us the life we envisioned. Sometimes we can start looking at our significant other as a symbol of the life we have built rather than who they truly are. All of us evolve and change over time and your partner is no different. Take the time to make sure you get to know who your partner is throughout your relationship. Hopes, dreams, happiness, issues and faults. If you want to share your life together, you need to know whom you are sharing it with.

3 – Be Open to Learning From Your Partner

Just like your partner isn’t perfect, neither are you. When something upsets us it is easy to point fingers and place blame. Sometimes it’s an issue that your partner can improve on and sometimes it is insecurities that you need to heal within yourself fuelling your anger. Either way your partner isn’t a mind reader. Open dialogue with your significant other will not only make you feel connected through active listening but will stop most issues reoccurring. If it is an issue you can’t overcome you then have the opportunity to decide if it’s something you can live with or if it isn’t really the relationship for you.

4 – Time Together

A healthy relationship has quality time together and apart. We all love that feeling of butterflies in the stomach that comes with new love. After a while though many of us slip into a bit of a rut, you become so comfortable with each other that it’s just as easy to sit there watching the television in comfortable silence. It’s fine to zone out with your partner as long as you make time for each other as well, whether it’s a date night, just sitting down and having a proper conversation or sharing some play time. Deep intimacy doesn’t just happen. On the flip side of that you need to have quality time apart. Having your own interests makes you a more complete person and will in turn strengthen your relationship. Encouraging this within your relationship will not only give you your own identity and a sense of fulfillment but will be a source of interesting conversation. There is nothing sexier than seeing your partner happy and watching them talk about experiences they are passionate about.

5 – Sometimes a Fight Isn’t What It Seems

All couples have issues but we have all either been in a relationship or know a couple that seem to fight and make up again and again. In some cases it’s just a simple fact that they shouldn’t be together and in some cases creating separateness with romantic drama allows them to avoid real intimacy. If you look at what you really fear about intimacy, whether it’s possibly being vulnerable or your true self being rejected, you’ll have a better sense of why you’re fighting and maybe fight far less. As much as we all like to believe we are being authentic, we all have personas that we adapt to get us through different situations. I have businesswoman, mother, friend, daughter and sister me just to name a few. We also start off with a first date persona and as a relationship moves forward you strip away the persona as you become more comfortable. A strong intimate relationship does this until your both at the core of your true selves and embraces the faults and fabulousness.

6 – Ordinary Isn’t Ordinary

Most of us can’t maintain the whirlwind of romance and dates on the town that can accompany new relationships. At some point the dust settles and you can worry about life becoming ordinary. Some of us worry if it will be enough and try to avoid it as long as they can. The truth is the ordinary day-to-day life with your partner is usually when a new level of intimacy begins. Sharing your life with someone can, and does, become extraordinary. Simple acts like waking up next to each other or having a cuddle on the couch while you read a book or watch a movie can fill your heart with joy and a genuine sense of connection. Take the time to appreciate the little things in your relationship that matter to you.

7 – Giving is Receiving

We all want to feel loved in a relationship. However true happiness is not about feeling good about ourselves because other people love us. It is more about how well we have loved ourselves and how well we have loved others. By being true to what makes us happy we offer our partner a complete person, that by loving themselves is better able to receive love. When it comes to how you treat your partner, whether it’s simple acts of love or grand gestures, the joy you will feel from making them happy combined with them feeling cherished will foster a deeper closeness between you.

8 – Honesty About Sex 

As much as a relationship isn’t just about sex, it is a very vital component of a healthy relationship. There is a unique feeling of connection with your partner through sex. Although tender missionary sex has it’s place, most of us have fantasies and desires that run deeper. It is important to have a frank discussion with your partner about what you like, would like to try and what you are not open to trying. If you want this conversation to really work it has to be free of judgment by both parties, free to be honest about what you would like to happen and free to be able to decline things that you are uncomfortable with. This isn’t a one-time conversation! Just like every other facet of your life this may evolve over time. Many of us as we age become more curious about trying new things just as once we have tried something we may decide it’s not for us and never want to try it again.

Not having the fairy tale relationship you imagined does not mean you don’t get the happily ever after. Building intimacy with your partner based on love, trust and respect is the greatest story of all, your love story.

 

 

TIPS FOR YOUR LOVE LIFE AFTER BECOMING PARENTS

For many couples sex after children can seem like a bit of a challenge. Each step of a child’s life creates it’s own set of obstacles. The sleep deprivation and consistent needs of a baby, the go go go until they drop demeanor of a toddler or the chauffeuring around of school children to extra curricular activities and play-dates. Not to mention just the basics of making sure they are fed, washed and have had some attention paid to them. All of these stages can leave you with little energy left over to get in the mood and even when you do, you can be interrupted at the just the wrong moment.

Sex may be only one component to a relationship but sexual intimacy is actually the most vital component. It allows you to feel connected with your partner (imperative for longevity) but also results in a fuelling of your own inner sparkle.

Being intimate in front of your children (we are talking about kissing and the simple sense of affectionate touch) is the single BEST lesson you can teach your children. It instills within them healthy behaviour which they take forward to their adult relationships. Remember, as a parent you are your children’s teacher and ALL children take what they witness at home and make it part of their personality behavioural stamps. So be the example to give your children the life and love that you really desire and want.

If you are not sure how to do this check out the tips below to keep your sex life rocking after the kids come knocking!

Carve out couple time

Most of us with families have a calendar for what we think are the important dates such as birthdays, dentist appointments, dance class etc. When was the last time you saw ‘date night’ on your calendar? Your relationship with your partner should be as much of a priority as your child’s football practice or school play. Spontaneous time with your partner is fantastic but not always an easy time to find so make sure you put some couple time on the calendar and don’t cancel it! It doesn’t have to be a big night out if your circumstances don’t allow it, even an hour or two just for you to connect for a meal, a movie or intimate time can make a world of difference not only to your relationship but your mood in general.

Physical attraction

All of our bodies change as we age and this can lead to us feeling less attractive in our relationship as time moves on. Although this is also an issue with men, the physical change for women after having a child can be a big shock! Although some women do get back their former body, almost all of us will carry the evidence of motherhood in one way or another. It may be an increase in weight that we just can’t seem to shed, stretch marks that have popped up in various places, breasts that aren’t quite as perky as they used to be or that once flat stomach you loved that just isn’t flat anymore. When you don’t feel as attractive in yourself it can lead to you not being as excited to have sex. Reassuring your partner of your affection for and attraction to them helps them to feel loved, cared for and desired.

TIP: Ladies most men are just happy that they are allowed to touch you so try to stop being so paranoid about your new body.

Redefine foreplay


With children around sometimes you can be a little ‘time poor’ when it comes to physical intimacy. Although foreplay has it’s role to play, there are times you may have to cut the physical foreplay time down to avoid the interruption of the pitter patter of little feet running down the hallway. Remember that foreplay doesn’t always have to be physical. You can try things such as leaving naughty notes or your sexiest underwear in private places such as lunchboxes or handbags, sending a cheeky picture message, or even sending a series of text messages about what you want to do to them. The last one you can even do while you are pottering around the house and getting the kids ready for bed. The kids will never know and you will be ready for couple time by the time they are asleep.

Get creative


With children around, sex just can’t be as spontaneous as it used to be when there was just the two of you. There is a greater risk of being interrupted, whether it is a crying baby or a child that can walk in on you. You can’t always wait until the conditions are just right or you might be waiting a long time. Get a little creative about where and when you have sex. A quickie on top of the washing machine while the kids are watching their morning cartoons or taking advantage of your toddler’s afternoon nap will give your intimate life a little spontaneity. Quickie sex can still leave you feeling connected and fulfilled no matter where or when you have it.

Too tired is not a good reason
!

Sometimes after a day of work, whether that is in or out of the home, kid duties, and finally getting them and yourselves into bed, you’re so exhausted that the last thing on your mind is couple time. When your partner makes a move to be intimate with you, you end up having a conversation about why you’re not in the mood and wonder how they could even be thinking about sex after the busy day you have had. Just think, you probably could have had sex in the time you just wasted telling your partner about why you were too tired and avoided hurting their pride in the process with this rejection. I’m not saying have sex if you really don’t want to but being a bit tired will quickly become a regular reason as parents if you let it and as a result your sexual relationship will suffer in the long term. Besides, there are few things that help you sleep better than snuggling up with your partner basking in the afterglow!

All couples’ lives will change after having children. But with a little effort the quality of your sex life doesn’t have to. There are many ways to create intimacy in a relationship and they are not all about sex but just remember that it is just as vital in your relationship as the other components. Sex with your partner is one of the only things you share with them that you don’t share with others. It’s an important gateway to create intimacy, romance and closeness in your relationship. Don’t neglect yourself or your partner by neglecting your sex life.

SHOULD YOUR EX STAY YOUR EX?

A lot of people wonder if breaking up was the right call and if they should get back with their ex? Sometimes they feel confused about what they should do or how they should go about it. It’s easy to get caught up by what the ex is doing with their time and analyzing every move they make, especially in this day and age with social media. Stalking your ex via mediums such as Facebook or Instagram is all to easy and it’s just as easy to upset yourself with the perceived information, especially as most of us look like we have much more exciting lives on Facebook than in reality. I know it shows my life in all its rose colour glasses splendor, without any of the housework or day-to-day errands. Some people are trying to move on, but a little voice in their head is telling them that this is just temporary and they just have to wait for the right opportunity to get back with their ex. The reality is that most of them shouldn’t even entertain getting back with their ex.

There are some relationships that with some good communication and core issues resolved can absolutely come back together and build a lasting partnership stronger than ever. If your relationship had a strong foundation and you are willing to put in the work it may be well worth the effort. The problem is that some people aren’t honest with themselves about which category their relationship with their ex falls into. Sometimes the residual feelings that are compelling you to want to go back aren’t what is really best for you. Here are a couple of things to think about before taking that step to get back with your ex.

  1. Respect in the relationship

Many people have been in or are in a relationship in which the other person shows blatant disrespect towards you. We are not talking about a little thing here and there. We are talking about consistent disrespect for your feelings and time in this relationship. So when that person fortunately becomes your ex, what do you really have to consider? If they didn’t show you respect while in the relationship, what makes you think that would change if you keep allowing them to come back regardless of prior behaviour? There are a lot of issues in relationships that can be worked on and even resolved, but without respect you really have no relationship to begin with.

  1. The Core Issues Have Not Been Addressed

To say, “I’m Sorry” without really addressing the issue may actually be very heartfelt but unfortunately over time becomes just a statement without any substance. Simply saying, “Ok I won’t do that again” doesn’t do much in making sure the issue doesn’t come back up. If you and your ex can’t get to the bottom of why the issue is happening in the first place then you can’t expect for it to just go away. It may seem fine for a while but the problem will rear it’s ugly head again. Meaningful and honest communication is necessary to overcome any issue. Without it you can’t really expect for things to change and improve. Sometimes when you get down to discussing your core issues you may realize that it actually isn’t something that you can overcome as a couple and going your separate ways is truly the right outcome. Whether you can work through your issues or not, you are just setting yourself up for frustration and disappointment if you don’t make the time to find out before taking your ex back.

  1. You’re Just Attached

Human nature dictates that we don’t like to be wrong. After investing all that time and energy into the relationship, you don’t want to feel like it was a waste. We want to feel validated in the feelings we thought we had for this person and that is hard to do when we are faced with the relationship being over. A lot of us have the desire to take back our ex, not because we are “really in love” with them. It is just our way of holding on to the hope that we didn’t get this wrong or fail in our judgment of character. That we didn’t spend all this time to find and keep this relationship when in reality that person was never meant for us to begin with. Fear of failure or being alone can motivate us more than love. In some cases it’s just lust that reels us back in. In other cases it a lack of respect in ourselves and how we deserve to be treated. For others it’s fear of what everyone will say or possibly even losing friends or family of their ex that they have gown to care about. None of these reasons are actually about being in love but if we use that term it can lead to us validating our actions. So if you are not truly in love, then why bother taking them back. You are only setting yourself up for you or them to leave again.

  1. But we have children

A relationship that involves children ending can be one of the most difficult of all. Firstly because you will feel like you have more to consider than the outcome for just the two of you and secondly because in most cases you can’t just cut ties and walk away from each other. Even if you couldn’t communicate well as a couple you will still need to find a way to work through issues together as parents. For these reasons some parents will stay in a relationship under the belief that it is what is right for their children. I am by no means saying that parents should throw away their relationships on a whim but you can’t stay in a relationship JUST because you have kids. The thing to consider is what sort of an example you are setting for your children if you really aren’t right for one another. Seeing your relationship in their home day after day will be their first point of reference on how a partnership should look and function like. How can a visibly destructive relationship built on obligation truly be a benefit to them? Wouldn’t you and them benefit in the long run from two parents successfully parenting them as a team even though they live apart and eventually presenting your children with two loving and functioning relationships to base their own on in the future? Before reconciling with an ex where children are a concern, make sure you are doing it for you first and foremost!

At the end of the day there is a reason that your relationship ended and your partner became your ex. Some people don’t realize what they have until it’s gone, but that does not always mean they are supposed to get it back. Make sure you understand the reasons behind the break up so that you can make a clearer decision as to whether you should even consider reconciling your relationship. If you do decide that moving on was the right decision, try not to carry the issues and insecurities from that relationship into your next one. We can all be tainted by past experiences but by entering into a new partnership expecting the worst you will almost guarantee it!

BUILDING A HAPPY AND HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP

The perfect recipe for a healthy romantic relationship differs from couple to couple. Forming a positive partnership built on trust and respect takes time and effort. For any relationship to grow strong and stay strong, you need to put in some work and keep the lines of communication open. Below are some points that will help create and maintain a healthy and happy relationship.

Communication

Communication is the key to any strong relationship. To keep a healthy partnership, it is one of the most important qualities. However, not everyone knows how to communicate properly, or even communicate at all in some circumstances. Happy couples have their communication game down. They communicate for the good of themselves and their relationship. They make sure they vocalize their love for one another, saying “I love you” often and offering compliments to their partner. They will also discuss the issues between them, instead of sweeping it under the rug and hoping it will fix itself. In order to move forward and grow as a couple, you two need to be able to truly talk about your feelings. No matter how uncomfortable or awkward it feels, it will make for a long lasting and fulfilling relationship.

Respect

Respecting your partner comes in many different forms. Promoting a happy relationship means respecting your partner’s time, feelings, personality, and trust. However, there are many things people do in relationships that can break down respect between one another. Some of these include derogatory remarks, talking negatively to friends or family about them or threatening to leave the relationship just to get a reaction. Things said in the heat of the moment can linger in a relationship for a long time.

Quality Time

There is a lot of truth to the saying quality over quantity. It doesn’t matter how much time you and your partner spend together. The important part is the quality of this time. There’s a big difference between wining and dining at the dinner table whilst talking about your day at work, versus having dinner while sitting on a couch watching TV. There is nothing wrong with zoning out together and enjoying distractions, but it’s crucial to make sure you are still engaging each other and spending quality time together to maintain a deep level of closeness and intimacy.

Time Apart

Spending time together with your partner is very important, but it is just as important to spend some time apart. Having a level of independence and your own interests lets you maintain your own identity and also creates interesting conversation for when you do spend time with your partner. When couples spend too much time together, it can create an unhealthy codependent relationship. Maintaining healthy boundaries and having a strong self-identity will make for a long-lasting partnership.

Appreciation

It is quite common for people to forget to let the special people in their life know they are appreciated. We often think it, but we don’t always remember to show it. This can be the same for our romantic relationships as well. Take the time to show him or her that you love and appreciate them. You can do this in many different ways such as words, cards or flowers. Simple acts of kindness such as doing the dishes, preparing a bath or saving them the last piece of cake can be the sweetest of all. Remember that something that only takes you moments to do can have a far-reaching effect on your relationship.

No Comparisons

We often compare our lives to others such as what jobs people have, their homes, or their clothes. With today’s social media, we tend to compare our relationships as well. But the happiest of couples aren’t looking to see if the grass is greener on the other side. They adore the view out of their own front door.

Positive Vs. Negative

Sometimes we can get caught up in the negative. We are having a hard time at work, are annoyed with our friends and our partner is getting on our last nerve. It’s vital that we look at our special someone’s positive qualities versus the negative. Nobody is perfect, and that includes our partner. So instead of focusing on the negative in the other person, make a conscious effort to look at the positive.

Pick and Choose Your Battles

There are going to be arguments to be had in every relationship no matter how much you love one another. Although it is very important to communicate and bring issues to the forefront, some arguments may not be worth the fallout. Arguing over your partner using your favorite coffee cup for example should be one of those. Pick and chose your battles wisely, because people in happy relationships generally do.

Sex

Let’s talk about sex in a relationship and about how important it is in cultivating a flourishing partnership. Sex is usually quite simple in the way it connects to your mindset in a relationship. The more you have it, the more you want it. The other side of that is true as well. The less you have it, the less you want it. And, unfortunately, the less you feel connected to your partner will follow with the latter. Keep your sex life alive and interesting. There are many ways to spice up your sex life and so many positive resources out there such as Taboo Intimacy.

Love Languages

Gary Chapman created the notion that men and women have five love languages. The concept is that people have unique ways of feeling loved. The five love languages are: words of affirmation, receiving gifts, quality time, acts of service, and physical touch. Take the time to find out what love language speaks to you and your partner the most, they might be different. Telling each other what makes you feel loved and special helps both of you stay connected. Make sure you are attending to your partner’s love language consistently.

We all want to have the happily ever after with our significant other but like all good things worth having they take effort and the willingness to keep working on your evolving partnership. Take the time to see which points you can improve on in your own relationship.

 

WHICH COUNTRY HAS THE BIGGEST PENIS AVERAGE?

So we have all thought about it from time to time. Men have had a sneak peak in the locker room to see how they stack up against the competition and women have joked about the size of the hands on the cute waiter over dinner, but how do the nations really stack up when it comes to penis size?

Out of the 80 countries researched, the average penis size is 5.5 inches. South America is the most well hung continent at 6.36 inches. While North Korea, at 3.8 inches, takes home the wooden spoon.

Australia didn’t even reach the global average with a surprising 5.2 inch or 13.2 cm average. No wonder our women are so attracted to foreign men. Just pray your lady never hooks up with a guy from the Congo or it’s game over.

Here are some notable findings; The proper way to measure is from tip of the penis to the very bottom of the pubic bone.
 The global average is 5.5 inches.
 The most well hung country in the study is the Democratic Republic of the Congo (aka Congo), with an average of 7.1 inches.
 On average, South America is the most well hung continent (6.36 inches).
 North Korea has the smallest penis size on average (3.8 inches).
 Only 3 percent of men worldwide are over 8 inches. Only 6 percent of men actually need extra large condoms.

Here are the statistics in inches; Korea 3.8 – India and Thailand 4 – Philippines and Taiwan 4.2 – China, Japan and Korea 4.3 – Malaysia 4.4 – Iraq, Singapore and Vietnam 4.5 – Indonesia and Iran 4.6 – Pakistan 4.8 – Romania 4.9 – Ireland and Mongolia 5 – USA 5.1 – Australia, Portugal and Russia 5.2 – Afghanistan and Ethiopia 5.3 – Finland and Greenland 5.4 – Algeria, Canada, New Zealand, Spain, Turkey, Ukraine and UK 5.5 – Austria, Israel, Norway, Poland and Switzerland 5.6 – Chile, France, Germany and Iceland 5.7 – Argentina, Croatia, Greece and Sweden 5.8 – Bulgaria, Costa Rica, Honduras, Mexico and Morocco 5.9 – Denmark, Nicaragua, Nigeria and South Africa 6 – Guatemala and Zimbabwe 6.1 – Belgium, Belize, Cuba, Egypt, Italy and Netherlands 6.2 – Brazil, Czech Republic, Haiti, Peru and Puerto Rico 6.3 – Jamaica, Panama and Sudan 6.4 – Bolivia and Hungary 6.5 – Lebanon 6.6 – Colombia and Venezuela 6.7 – Ghana 6.8 – Ecuador 6.9 – Congo 7.1

So gentlemen now that you have seen the statistics, I wonder how you measure up against the nations and to all of our singles out there, this might just help you decide your next favourite holiday destination!

THE TRUTH ABOUT YOUR HUSBANDS MISTRESS

Not many women are comfortable thinking about their husband seeing a prostitute/mistress, but many husbands out there are doing it whether their wives know it or not. One prostitute Miss Jolene Dubois has given her prospective on some realities on the subject of why they keep coming back to seek her services.

  1. Monogamy is against most men’s biological nature. But nest-building and settling down with one primary woman to raise a family is not. He’s chosen you, not her. He might see her as more fun, vivacious or sexual, but he sees you as the best candidate for wife, mother and life companion. He takes you seriously, not her.
  2. Your partnership, in his eyes, has turned into more of an asexual friendship without the “benefits.”He still wants the benefits (as in the sex) but would rather seek out a willing mistress than rock the boat with you by expressing his frustration at your loss of interest in sex—or at least sex like it used to be.
  3. He wants to have his cake and eat it, too. Social conditioning has enabled his feelings of male “have it all” entitlement. He still loves the hell out of you but male privilege dictates he can play around, get away with it and not be held accountable.
  4.  She require less maintenance both emotionally and financially. She is not a long-term investment. Whether she is seeing him for money or seeing him just for fun, she is his sidechick who is (sometimes painfully) at his beck and call for fantasy fulfillment as well as emotional support. Whereas you’re a full-time career with great benefits and insurance, she an hourly temp job.
  5. He feels more comfortable telling her things he doesn’t have the confidence to admit to you. She is basically a young, good-looking version of a therapist but unlike professionally-trained therapists, he gets to have sex with her. (That’s why in the case of escorting, her $500 per hour rate exceeds many of the nation’s best PhD holding psychiatrists and psychologists).
  6. He can ask her to perform certain sexual acts that he doesn’t feel comfortable asking you to do. She may allow anal sex, giving oral, slightly rough sex, threesomes, a little role-play, and light BDSM.
  7. He might be indulging an addiction, replacing an addiction or channeling his craving for other vices toward a different form of self-destructive behavior. If he has a history of gambling, alcoholism or drug addiction, it’s common for him to channel this pleasure-seeking energy toward her. He’s listening to his Id, not his super-ego, because he has a history of weakness toward seeking pleasure in excess.
  8. He gets off on the risk. He might not even be seeing her for her at all because it’s about indulging in a thrill-seeking risk. Some guys try harder not to get caught but some men love flirting with disaster a little bit, especially if he’s paying her hush-money. That way, his cocky ass feels extra confident that she won’t go Fatal Attraction on him. He knows (and she knows)painfully well that if you catch him in their affair, your female instinct will be to blame her for seducing him. But here’s a truthbomb: She is not standing on a street corner, sipping a martini at the Four Seasons hoping to seduce him; he sought her out. But hey, go ahead and blame her if it helps you sleep at night, dear.
  9. He’s got a Madonna-whore complex and puts you in the Madonna category. He doesn’t think of the mother of his kids in the same sexual way he may have during the hot and heavy early days. He’d rather have hot hotel sex with someone who asks little of him than boring, quiet missionary sex that’s subdued and quiet so to not wake up the kid. Also, she is probably younger and better-rested than you are, with more energy to bring to their sexual encounters than just letting him hurry up and have sex with her until he comes to get it over with.
  10. He’s got a savior complex. He feels good supporting her financially—to whatever extent he does—while also enjoying the ‘No Strings Attached’ sex arrangement. It’s mutually beneficial. He knows she is jealous of the “main bitch” role but willing to settle for his sidechick beacuse she is used to it. However, he exploits that desire and manipulates her emotionally. This is why so many men make false promises to leave their wives and take their mistresses on extravagant vacations.

At the end of the day, though, if your little boy gets a sniffle, he’ll ditch a romantic weekend getaway with her in a red hot second. And if you call to tell him he has to be home to let the plumber in between 2-5, he’ll cancel her 3 pm, $500/1 hour fling cause he doesn’t really care about her and he’s scared of your wrath. Basically, you have him whipped and she is just a fun hobby he’s able to sacrifice when there is serious stuff to attend to.